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サザエさんで解説 3分でわかるクリミア問題

time 2014/03/24

サザエさんで解説 3分でわかるクリミア問題



3分でわかる クリミア問題をサザエさんに例えて教えてください
crimirlargemap
カツオが花沢さんと結婚。
磯野家の庭に家を建てて独立(ウクライナ独立)
貧乏ながらもカツオ家は磯野家(ロシア)と良好な関係を保っていた
しかし花沢さん(西ウクライナ)は磯野家にベッタリなカツオ(クリミア)に嫌気がさしていた
ある日、花沢さんのお父さんが娘に言った
「うちの管理物件にするなら色々と優遇するが…どうだ?」
それを聞いた花沢さんはすぐにでも今住んでいる家を管理物件にしようと思う
「ねぇ、うちの実家(EU)と仲良くしましょうよ。こんな家と土地はうちの不動産会社に任せて少し楽しない?大体あなたが役立たずだからうちが貧乏なんじゃないのっ!」(ウクライナ大統領抗議デモ)
実は花沢不動産(EU)とナカジマ(アメリカ)はカツオの家の敷地が欲しかったので、カツオや磯野家の悪いところを花沢さんに羅列して報告し、「うちの管理物件にしたら楽な生活ができるよ」と伝えていた。
磯野家(ロシア)とカツオ家全体を仲違いさせてカツオ家を仲間に引きずり込みたかったのだ。
目的はカツオ家の土地だ。
「でも、元々とうさんの土地だし…僕は磯野家の人間だから…」カツオ(クリミア)
それが原因でカツオ(クリミア)と花沢さん(西ウクライナ)が夫婦喧嘩
一旦は花沢さんが勝った(大統領選)。
花沢不動産(EU)とナカジマ(アメリカ)は
その結果を喜んだ
しかし、それを知った磯野家(ロシア)の波平さん(プーチン)は許さない
「ばっかもーん!!カツオが花沢不動産に言いくるめられとるにきまっとる!」
そう言うとカツオの家に武装したタマを放った(平和維持目的の軍事介入)。
フーッ!!
「これは正式な磯野家の者ではない。あくまでも夫婦喧嘩の仲裁に送っただけだ。
わしが本気を出すなら怒り狂ったサザエを送り込むわ」
花沢さんがタマにたじたじになっている間にカツオは考えた
「…僕はどうしたらいいんだろう。自分の心に聞いてみよう」(クリミア議会でロシアにつくかEUにつくかの選挙)
気持ちは圧倒的に磯野家(ロシア)に戻りたいと決まった
「やっぱり僕は離婚して磯野家に戻るよ!あと、自分の土地だし半分(クリミア半島)は僕のものだから!」
「ちょっと待ちなさいよ!離婚なんか認めないわっ!土地を持ってくってどういうことよっ!」花沢さん(ウクライナ)
「ちょっと磯野さん!タマを送り込んでカツオくんの心を揺さぶるなんて酷くないですか。カツオくんが勝手に考えて決めたことなんか認めませんからね」花沢不動産(EU)
「磯野のお父さん、カツオに変なことを言って離婚なんかそそのかさないでくださいよっ!そんなことするなら町内の仲間を集めて磯野家を仲間はずれにしてやりますからね!」ナカジマ(アメリカ) 一部制裁発動
「わしはカツオが困っているのだから助けるのが当たり前だ!
花沢家が嫌なんだから別れて戻ってきたらいい
ナカジマが わしに制裁?したければすればいい。いつでも受けてたつ」波平(ロシア プーチン)
「まぁまぁ、どちらとも落ち着いてくださいよぉ…(付き合い上はナカジマの味方なんだけど磯野家とは最近上手くいってるしなぁ)」ノリスケ(日本)

こんな感じ。
…分かりにくいっすね…
因みにIMFの話やらNATOの話しなどは全部外してます。
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